Post by Paula on Oct 27, 2012 11:12:17 GMT -9
OOC: I'm retiring Paula as a character in favor of my other account. I would have put both characters on the same account, but I had issues with account recovery that didn't resolve until today. Oh well, too late now.
BIC: *Paula hadn't slept for days. The nagging feeling in the back of her mind told her that she couldn't stay here with these animals who all seemed to know each other so well and have a purpose.*
"Won't you just let me sleep already?" Paula asked her warring mind.
*One half of her told her to stay and make friends, the other told her that, ever since that fire seven months ago, she couldn't stay in one place. At least not if she was going to try to be the same person she was before she watched her family tree and everyone in it burn down.*
You shouldn't have snuck out that night. Then you wouldn't be in this position.
*Her mind constantly taunted her with that thought. The night her family had died, she had snuck out with friends to dance on the lake. She never would have, normally, but Aidan was there, with his perfect tan skin and bright green eyes and...*
"No. No more thinking about him." Paula said aloud. She always spoke aloud when trying to decide something.
You can't stay here... You don't belong... Her guilt taunted her.
"Shut up. I'll think about it tomorrow. I'm going to sleep, whether you like it or not."
*Paula got up and went to the cabinet where she kept the pills she had concocted to throw her into a deep sleep. She always woke up feeling sick and weak after, but she knew she'd feel just as bad if she stayed up all night and thought about this. She dragged herself back to her bed and gulped down two of the large, brown pills, and slept.*
It's your fault!
You could have stopped it.
You should have heard.
You shirked your duties.
You killed everyone.
Failure.
Fraud.
Murderer.
*Paula fell into a deep dream-sleep from which she could not pull out.*
"It's not my fault! I didn't know!" She tried to scream, but nothing came out.
*She could feel herself being pulled into the inky blackness below her. She tried to fight it, but then suddenly, she was falling. Falling, falling, falling endlessly. Just as she thought she must certainly hit the ground, she pulled up. Paula knew what would come next. She would open her eyes and be back in the forest glade where she had lived. It would be night, and she would feel Aidan's arms around her waist, holding her as they danced across the lake, keeping her warm in the crisp winter air.. Behind her she would hear the song and laughter of her friends and their dance partners. Everyone would be happy and joyful, and then suddenly...* CRASH *Paula, Aidan and everyone else would wheel around to face the village. Juniper would scream and point, and realization would dawn. A blizzard. There had been a blizzard. They would shoot toward the village and find their worst nightmare was before them. There was no way to wake everyone and escape the tornado of ice and snow that was before them. The winds were harsh in this forest near the mountain top, but not unpredictable. Each fairy took his or her turn checking the weather for the night and next day with a spell. This spell, however, had to be performed just after sunset. This time, it had been Paula's turn.*
"Paula?" Her dad's warm voice asked.
"Yes Father. I'm in my room checking the weather. Please don't interrupt me, Father. I don't want to mess up."
"That's my girl. I love you, darling."
"I love you too, Father."
*That was the last thing she had said to him as he retired to his room for the night. But Paula was not checking the weather.*
"He never needs to know," Paula told herself. "I'm sure the weather will be fine tonight. Besides, if I wait to do this spell, I'll be so late to the dance that it will practically be over. I can't miss this. I've never been. And Aidan will be there. It will be alright." *Paula told herself this over and over again as she dressed in her best dress: a strapless purple one that came to just above her knees, tied at the waist with a blade of grass. It was made of gorgeous and soft flower petals and accentuated her curves perfectly. She adjusted her hair and makeup and snuck out to meet Aidan and her friends at the lake. The night had gone perfectly until then. And as she rushed to the village, she knew. This was her fault. At the village square, the sight of nightmares met their eyes. The wall of snow pushed towards them impossibly fast. Each fairy dashed to his or her home, screaming for everyone to wake up; it was an emergency. But Paula stood there, riveted by the sight of her own failure. Suddenly another crash resounded right next to her, and Paula realized the trees were breaking under the weight of snow. Paula looked over just in time to see her own tree, her family still rushing around inside, no doubt looking for her, crash to the ground. Screams resounded in her ears as fairies fled for their lives. Paula forced her feet to move, rushed toward her family home, heard the screams of her little brother as he cried for help, his legs crushed beneath a dresser, screamed for her father and mother to "Hold on, I'm coming, you'll be okay, I promise." Then the full force of the blizzard hit, knocking her back into a tree. The world went black, but not before she saw her family home burst into flames. This is what Paula would see if she opened her eyes, but even now, it all flashed back to her behind her eyelids, like a horror movie she couldn't stop. Paula already knew the ending, but nothing eased the heart-stopping terror gripping her. As Paula came to, she'd hear the sound of women screaming for their children. Husbands screaming for the wife who'd never take another breath. Children begging their mommy to "get up Mommy. Get up. It's not time to sleep. Mommy. I'm cold." Paula knew this was all her fault. Slowly she dragged herself up from the ground as her head cleared. A searing pain tore through her wing, which she now saw was dragging on the ground, broken. A small boy, crying over his dead father's body looked up at her, and she knew she couldn't stay. Ignoring the stabbing pain shooting through every inch of her body, Paula fled and never looked back. Seven months later, she'd ended up in Fallsilver Forest. A place full of creatures who loved one another. Who cared for her and accepted her and even came to visit when she moved in. Creatures who didn't know the real her. She couldn't stay here. She couldn't betray them like this...*
*Paula shot up. Rays of golden sunlight streamed into her room. Her blankets were soaked with sweat, or was it tears? Jumping out of bed, Paula scrubbed herself down in the icy water in her basin, shoved her meager belongings in a bag, took one last look in the mirror and... stopped. She looked healthier than she ever had since arriving here. Her cheeks were rosier and the food had obviously done her some good.* Maybe I should stay just a little longer. I'm sure they'll understand if I tell them it was just... "No. No, I can't and I won't stay." *Paula set her mind to the task ahead. She grabbed her knives, swords and bow, and fully equipped, set out, leaving only one thing behind. Her diary sat on the oak wood table behind her. In its tear-and-blood marked pages, she'd written every detail of that night. She'd kept it with her as a reminder of what she'd done. Now they would know, too. She couldn't let it go of that night. Not now, not ever. Now they'd understand why she'd left, and they'd no doubt hate her. She left no indication of where she was going. Not even she really knew.* "I'll find some way to make up for what I've done, or I'll die trying. I can't live like this anymore." Paula told herself as she stepped out the door and into the crisp morning air. She turned towards the forest and set out, with no plans to return. With no real plans at all.*
OOC: This is how I'm (at least temporarily) retiring Paula as a character. Maybe I'll bring her back one day. I don't know. But I figured this is better than killing her off.
BIC: *Paula hadn't slept for days. The nagging feeling in the back of her mind told her that she couldn't stay here with these animals who all seemed to know each other so well and have a purpose.*
"Won't you just let me sleep already?" Paula asked her warring mind.
*One half of her told her to stay and make friends, the other told her that, ever since that fire seven months ago, she couldn't stay in one place. At least not if she was going to try to be the same person she was before she watched her family tree and everyone in it burn down.*
You shouldn't have snuck out that night. Then you wouldn't be in this position.
*Her mind constantly taunted her with that thought. The night her family had died, she had snuck out with friends to dance on the lake. She never would have, normally, but Aidan was there, with his perfect tan skin and bright green eyes and...*
"No. No more thinking about him." Paula said aloud. She always spoke aloud when trying to decide something.
You can't stay here... You don't belong... Her guilt taunted her.
"Shut up. I'll think about it tomorrow. I'm going to sleep, whether you like it or not."
*Paula got up and went to the cabinet where she kept the pills she had concocted to throw her into a deep sleep. She always woke up feeling sick and weak after, but she knew she'd feel just as bad if she stayed up all night and thought about this. She dragged herself back to her bed and gulped down two of the large, brown pills, and slept.*
It's your fault!
You could have stopped it.
You should have heard.
You shirked your duties.
You killed everyone.
Failure.
Fraud.
Murderer.
*Paula fell into a deep dream-sleep from which she could not pull out.*
"It's not my fault! I didn't know!" She tried to scream, but nothing came out.
*She could feel herself being pulled into the inky blackness below her. She tried to fight it, but then suddenly, she was falling. Falling, falling, falling endlessly. Just as she thought she must certainly hit the ground, she pulled up. Paula knew what would come next. She would open her eyes and be back in the forest glade where she had lived. It would be night, and she would feel Aidan's arms around her waist, holding her as they danced across the lake, keeping her warm in the crisp winter air.. Behind her she would hear the song and laughter of her friends and their dance partners. Everyone would be happy and joyful, and then suddenly...* CRASH *Paula, Aidan and everyone else would wheel around to face the village. Juniper would scream and point, and realization would dawn. A blizzard. There had been a blizzard. They would shoot toward the village and find their worst nightmare was before them. There was no way to wake everyone and escape the tornado of ice and snow that was before them. The winds were harsh in this forest near the mountain top, but not unpredictable. Each fairy took his or her turn checking the weather for the night and next day with a spell. This spell, however, had to be performed just after sunset. This time, it had been Paula's turn.*
"Paula?" Her dad's warm voice asked.
"Yes Father. I'm in my room checking the weather. Please don't interrupt me, Father. I don't want to mess up."
"That's my girl. I love you, darling."
"I love you too, Father."
*That was the last thing she had said to him as he retired to his room for the night. But Paula was not checking the weather.*
"He never needs to know," Paula told herself. "I'm sure the weather will be fine tonight. Besides, if I wait to do this spell, I'll be so late to the dance that it will practically be over. I can't miss this. I've never been. And Aidan will be there. It will be alright." *Paula told herself this over and over again as she dressed in her best dress: a strapless purple one that came to just above her knees, tied at the waist with a blade of grass. It was made of gorgeous and soft flower petals and accentuated her curves perfectly. She adjusted her hair and makeup and snuck out to meet Aidan and her friends at the lake. The night had gone perfectly until then. And as she rushed to the village, she knew. This was her fault. At the village square, the sight of nightmares met their eyes. The wall of snow pushed towards them impossibly fast. Each fairy dashed to his or her home, screaming for everyone to wake up; it was an emergency. But Paula stood there, riveted by the sight of her own failure. Suddenly another crash resounded right next to her, and Paula realized the trees were breaking under the weight of snow. Paula looked over just in time to see her own tree, her family still rushing around inside, no doubt looking for her, crash to the ground. Screams resounded in her ears as fairies fled for their lives. Paula forced her feet to move, rushed toward her family home, heard the screams of her little brother as he cried for help, his legs crushed beneath a dresser, screamed for her father and mother to "Hold on, I'm coming, you'll be okay, I promise." Then the full force of the blizzard hit, knocking her back into a tree. The world went black, but not before she saw her family home burst into flames. This is what Paula would see if she opened her eyes, but even now, it all flashed back to her behind her eyelids, like a horror movie she couldn't stop. Paula already knew the ending, but nothing eased the heart-stopping terror gripping her. As Paula came to, she'd hear the sound of women screaming for their children. Husbands screaming for the wife who'd never take another breath. Children begging their mommy to "get up Mommy. Get up. It's not time to sleep. Mommy. I'm cold." Paula knew this was all her fault. Slowly she dragged herself up from the ground as her head cleared. A searing pain tore through her wing, which she now saw was dragging on the ground, broken. A small boy, crying over his dead father's body looked up at her, and she knew she couldn't stay. Ignoring the stabbing pain shooting through every inch of her body, Paula fled and never looked back. Seven months later, she'd ended up in Fallsilver Forest. A place full of creatures who loved one another. Who cared for her and accepted her and even came to visit when she moved in. Creatures who didn't know the real her. She couldn't stay here. She couldn't betray them like this...*
*Paula shot up. Rays of golden sunlight streamed into her room. Her blankets were soaked with sweat, or was it tears? Jumping out of bed, Paula scrubbed herself down in the icy water in her basin, shoved her meager belongings in a bag, took one last look in the mirror and... stopped. She looked healthier than she ever had since arriving here. Her cheeks were rosier and the food had obviously done her some good.* Maybe I should stay just a little longer. I'm sure they'll understand if I tell them it was just... "No. No, I can't and I won't stay." *Paula set her mind to the task ahead. She grabbed her knives, swords and bow, and fully equipped, set out, leaving only one thing behind. Her diary sat on the oak wood table behind her. In its tear-and-blood marked pages, she'd written every detail of that night. She'd kept it with her as a reminder of what she'd done. Now they would know, too. She couldn't let it go of that night. Not now, not ever. Now they'd understand why she'd left, and they'd no doubt hate her. She left no indication of where she was going. Not even she really knew.* "I'll find some way to make up for what I've done, or I'll die trying. I can't live like this anymore." Paula told herself as she stepped out the door and into the crisp morning air. She turned towards the forest and set out, with no plans to return. With no real plans at all.*
OOC: This is how I'm (at least temporarily) retiring Paula as a character. Maybe I'll bring her back one day. I don't know. But I figured this is better than killing her off.